We’ve all heard the stories of people who have been sexually abused as children. How do they cope with their trauma in adulthood? What are some common impacts that can be seen in society?
Patrice Evra said he had never told his family or friends about it. Photo courtesy of AMA/Corbis and Getty Images.
Patrice Evra, a legend for Manchester United and France, has confessed that he was sexually molested by a teacher when he was 13 years old.
In his new book, he talked about his experiences.
He said that in order to save time travelling to school, he used to reside at the home of a head teacher, and that the instructor would push himself into Evra’s bedroom.
Evra, 40, had kept the abuse from his mother until recently, when he realized it will be revealed in the book.
He told the New York Times, “Of course, she was crushed.” “It was a trying time for me.” I still have a couple of my siblings and sisters, as well as close friends, to inform.
“I don’t want anybody to feel sorry for me.” It’s a challenging scenario. This is not something a mother expects to hear from her own kid. She sensed something wasn’t quite right and inquired as to why I didn’t want to sleep at the teacher’s place. I just inform her now that I am 40 years old. It came as a complete surprise to her. There was a lot of rage. She expressed regret. ‘You must not write that in your book, it is private Patrice,’ she said, but when I told her it wasn’t about me, it was about the other kids, she replied OK, she understood.
“I understand that the book will affect people’s perceptions of me, but I am always willing to communicate with them.” I’ve evolved into a better version of myself. ‘Oh, the world will react, think of the pressure,’ my pals would say, but the greatest pressure is telling my mother. It’s difficult even to think about it now.
“‘If you don’t suit him, I’ll sue him,’ my mother says first. I’m going to murder him if he’s still alive.’ There is a lot of fury in the air. I’m sure my mother and other members of my family will do research to see if they can file a lawsuit. However, I had buried this event so deeply that I had forgotten about [prosecution].”
Evra claimed he wasn’t planning to include the abuse in his book at first because he was afraid of what others would think, but he later changed his mind.
“I’ll be honest with you, when I originally wrote the book, I didn’t disclose the full story because I was still embarrassed and afraid of what others would think, but now I want to share it because I don’t want youngsters to be in my position and be ashamed of themselves, thinking they aren’t courageous,” he added.
“So I just want to make sure that kids everywhere have the confidence to face their fears and not blame themselves, because I was always the one who blamed myself. I’m not ashamed to admit that for many years, I felt like a coward for never speaking out. There was a heaviness in my chest. But I don’t do it for my own benefit; I do it for the benefit of other children.”
When Evra was 24 and playing for AS Monaco, police contacted him about allegations against the head instructor, but he declined to speak with them about his experience.
“One of my greatest regrets was living with it because I could have helped so many people,” he continued. “This poisonous masculinity has had enough of me.” Weeping was weak for my father, but crying is not weak. I had to say goodbye to my brother and friends, but I never wept. ‘One day you’re going to erupt,’ my mother would remark.
“I’d rather be an inspiration and role model than a victim. Even though I’ve been a victim, I don’t want to play the victim.”